Kids. Kids! Kids?

So I'm not really sure why, but I've been thinking about my possibility as a parent lately. I guess I'm getting to an acceptable age to be a parent these days. Most people that are my age are already parents or gonna be parents very soon. Or at least it seems like it to me. I've never been 100% sure that I ever want to be a parent though. I know each and every one of you just gasped in horror. I'm from the south, I'm young and able, and I MIGHT NOT WANT KIDS?!? Awful, I know.

I used to think that I didn't like kids. They made me real nervous to be around. And the fact that I might have to sacrifice MYSELF for another human? HA yeah I didn't think so. But now that I'm an older sister and aunt and way fun older cousin, I see that I am maybe a little more nurturing and maternal that I had given myself credit for. I love spending time with Dalton, and I think he likes me. And hearing Gage tell me he misses me and loves his Kayla just melts my heart. I like being able to share the wonder that is Baskin Robbins with Hunter and to take Abby and Belle to see a movie and have Giggle-Fest 2010 in the back of my car. I like those things. But is that really mom-material?

I don't really know why I have become consumed by this thought. I have no boyfriend, so I'm certainly not getting married anytime soon. I know I know, you don't have to be married to have a baby, but I hope to be. And maybe someday I'll meet some wonderful man that makes me want to immediately procreate. Who knows! I just am not sure that I'll be a great mom. I think some people were born to be mothers. My sister is definitely one of those people. She always tried to take care of me (Read: Boss me, haha) and when she started trying to have a baby, I knew that once she did, she would take the mom cake, so to speak. And indeed, I was right. She is so patient with Dalton. She knows just what to do when something is wrong, or when he needs something, anytime! I just don't know that I will EVER be like that. People always tell me when it's your own kid its different. And even with Dalton, as I've said before, I've done things I never DREAMED I would do just instinctively. It still just freaks me out to know that I would be solely responsible for another being.

I guess for now I really don't have to know. As I said, I have no boyfriend or intention to marry anytime soon, so I have a little time to work things out. I'll just stick to being an awesome aunt, sister and cousin, which I have on lock if I do say so myself.

Thanks for reading. :)