Today Is the Day.

Sometimes you get to a point in your life you never hoped to see. Sometimes people make choices with no regard to the consequences they will face and will have a lack of regard for the impact those choices make on everyone else. I feel like most everyone has come into contact with all of these things. I am no different. I am no better because I'm sure I've been on the sending side of these transgressions at some time or another as well as the receiving side. I, however, hope that I have learned a lesson from my mistakes and can grow from them here and now.

Perfection is what I strive for. It's conflicting, though, because I know no one will ever be perfect. It's hard for me to not hold people to a high standard because of my passion for perfection. I try to consider that I nor anyone else will ever be perfect. We are all just human and will make mistakes most everyday of our lives whether they be big or small. I get that. What I don't get though, is how we as humans can be faced with evidence of our mistakes and deny to ourselves and to others that they are, in fact, very much a mistake. Again, I know I'm guilty, but I'm frustrated by it.

I've said many times before that I'm not a maternal person. I don't think that I have the mom gene. But lately, I have given myself some credit. I've seen lots of examples lately of the right choices I've made with others in mind. Those others are children that can't make choices like these for themselves. I'm proud of myself for the growth in that area and also that maybe I'm a little bit closer to the perfection that I strive for.

As I started this post, sometimes you get to a place in your life that you never thought you'd be in. Sometimes you have to walk away from that place. It's not easy. It's not pleasant. But it's the right thing to do. Sometimes you've got to walk away. Today is that day.

Christmas List!

I love Christmas. And I REALLY love making a Christmas List! We always make them at my grandma's house on Thanksgiving but I can never think of what to put on it when I'm on the spot. So here are some things I'd like this year and links to where you can buy them! Some might think this is rude. I, however, think it's considerate. Shopping at the click of a button my friends!

Charms for my Pandora Bracelet


Hangin' Out Wristlet in Night and Day

The History of Mathematics: An Introduction Ok I know that seems weird, but college books are expensive!

Exceptional Children: An Introduction to Special EducationAnd again, I know. These are my most expensive books for the semester!

Old Navy Women's The Sweetheart Boot-Cut Jeans Size 12Tall in a dark washReally, I like most any pant from Old Navy. The key is the rise- The Sweetheart. Love it. And TALL!


Old Navy Women's Perfect Khakis 12Tall in Rawhide


Glee Albums




Donkey Kong Country Returns (Nintendo Wii)

Women's Mossimo Supply Co. Kamisse Cuffed Slouch Boots - Grey Size 9.5

Kodak EasyShare C183 14MP Digital Camera Bundle Includes 2AA Rechargeable Batteries, Wall Charger, and Neoprene Case, 3x Zoom, 3" LCD, One Button Upload in Red

Ok, I think that's probably enough. As we all know, I like cardigans, anything red, Coach Bags, Raybans, shoes, Alabama. You all know the general things. Hope this list makes everyone's life much easier :)

Can't Choose Just ONE!

My sweet not so baby nephew is almost 2! I can't believe it. Seems like yesterday I was jumping out of my chair and racing to the hospital. So since he's almost a big boy now, I figured it was time to update his picture on my blog. Lucky for me, his mommy just took him for a little 2 year old photo shoot with the great people at Portrait Innovations. They've always done his pictures and have never failed to please. As I looked through them, I fell more and more in love with his precious little face. So naturally, I couldn't decide on just ONE! So here are some of my favs... Enjoy!

Future Football Star!






Such a cutie right!? Love him to death. Happy Birthday Pumpkin Pie!!

Bittersweet.

This weekend brought on an end and a beginning in the lives of two of my cousins. Yesterday was Treavor's last high school football game. While he didn't get to play because of an unfortunate injury, it was still pretty hard for me to accept that it was really over. We all know of my partial feelings for Treavor. And football has been one of our greatest common interests. I've enjoyed watching him play ball for over ten years and to know that I probably will never see him play again is a little rough...



But luckily, the end of his football career came directly at the beginning of Whitley's time with dance. I danced for many years long ago and was really excited when Whitley decided to join the dance team at school. Today was her first competition, and it was SO FUN! Brought me back to my olden days of dance recitals complete with sponge rollers and crazy makeup. Her team did AWESOME! They won first place AND were grand champions in the school team division. So proud of her and so excited to have something to hopefully bond a little more with her over.














Not a great video, but you get the idea. They were great!

Best of the Blog

In hopes of renewing my writing spirit, I went through to find my fav posts. Hope you like re-reading them as much as I have!

High/Low/High 1.0

New Plan? No Plan!

Day 1. Your Best Friend

Shane

Kids. Kids! Kids?

Day 23. Last Person You Kissed

Day 7. Your Ex

Ok, so there were quite a few. Sorry!

The Lost Voice

I've started blog post after blog post in the past few weeks. And I couldn't think of anything to say. I'm not trying to call my little ole blog real "writing", but the only way I can explain this is old fashioned writer's block. I've been super busy, and even more stressed out. So I guess a loss of words is to be expected. Luckily, my life is settling down and I've actually had some time to myself to read and reflect and do some things that I want to do. During this me time, I started reading Eat Pray Love and felt a real connection to Elizabeth Gilbert's story. Here's a particular quote that I felt drawn to.

"If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time-everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else."
From Eat Pray Love

In the story, Liz is referring to a (or any really) relationship with a man. How she gets completely wrapped up in him. While I may not have a man to invest in, I do have lots of other people that have this same effect on me. My family, my friends, anyone that I meet that I think needs help. I'm a giver, much like Liz, but to a fault. I say that because I often times forget what I want, or what I need, or what I should be doing because I'm worried about/obsessed with/more concerned about what everyone else wants, needs, or should be doing.

I feel an extreme amount of guilt when I do something for myself. I feel like I have some many amazing people that help me out, and support me. And to do something just for me that might put them out or upset them is something I have a really hard time doing. That is for sure not normal and certainly not healthy. I'm trying to grow and to teach myself that it's ok to do something just because I want to. I'm not talking about buying a fancy bag or expensive makeup, cause we ALL know I have that down pat. But important things like moving to another state or city, and living my life the way I want to live it-not just in the cookie cutter way that everyone else around me does. Liz had a serious breakdown and divorce in order to come to the realization that she has to do things for herself. Hopefully, I can avoid that, at least that's what I'm gonna try.

So my goal now is to learn to say no. To become happy with myself, just the way I am. And to wait for the day that I can wake up and know I get to do exactly what I want today.