Ugggoooohh-prah!

I'm not really sure how this is gonna turn out. I've been watching Oprah regularly this season for the first time in my life-better late than never I always say. And I'm torn. You see, I've always thought so highly of her. She started with nothing and moved her way to the top. She's worked hard and given so many women a role model and inspiration. But as I've been watching this season, I find myself annoyed and angry. Does being a multi-millionaire mean that you know EVERYTHING? Cause it sure seems like Oprah thinks so.

I appreciate the attention Oprah has drawn to our education systems throughout the US, however, it seems to me that she is vilifying public schools and public school teachers. She is all for charter schools, which in my opinion, are a waste of resources. Today, I watched the episode with Tony Danza and his "second career" as a 10th Grade English teacher in Philadelphia (this is a whole different story of something I'm torn on, but we'll skip that for now). Tony was telling how hard it is to teach. Oprah, of course, started talking about bad teachers this and that. What I don't think she realizes is TEACHING IS NOT EASY! A lot of people, Oprah included, feel like any-ole-body could walk into a classroom and just start teaching kids how to divide and multiply. This assumption, my friends, is wrong. And because Oprah is on national television GLORIFYING IT, people all over America who don't have the sense to think for themselves are gonna believe that too.

Stepping down from soap box now...

Oprah gives advice to people about relationships. Um, did I miss something? Cause last time I checked, she's never been married. And certainly has no children. She gives advice about our national education system. Has she ever worked in a classroom before? And I'm not talking pay to build one, I mean go in and WORK. My thing is, I'm good at baking. I know how to bake and do it quite well if I do say so myself. I could give advice on baking or whip you up something delicious to eat at the word go. So why, WHY I ask, would I start giving advice about, say, brain surgery. Seems a little silly right? Maybe we should remember that when we are taking advice for Oprah or anyone that's a little less than qualified.

Ok. I'm OVER That Thing...

Yeah. Title pretty much sums up my feelings on the 30 Days of Posting Business. It was fun at first and nice to have topics to write about. But as the days went by, the topics got more lame and more repetitive, and I just can't do it anymore. Not to mention, I'm sure you fine folks are DYING to know what's going on with me!! So I won't keep you in suspense any longer...

Let's see. I don't even remember when I posted on my own accord last. Seriously, I just had to look back to know. Since August 25, I have been running non-stop. I haven't had a free weekend, and won't until after Thanksgiving. I'll give you a week by week break down to the best of my memory.

Week of August 29- This week my mom and Jim, Aunt Deana, the Ballard's, and the Head's (Nicole's mom and dad) went to Cabo and left me here with approximately 8000 dogs and children. Not really, but close. I had Charlie, Piper, Scarlett, Lizzie, Kaiya, and Whitley and Treavor. FULL HOUSE to say the least. That week was mostly filled with dog poop and paper writing. Again, I NEVER want to be a single mom. It's so stressful! Nonetheless, we made it through the week. I was supposed to go to Knoxville that weekend for my annual Labor Day/Boomsday fun. Unfortunately, my trip was cancelled as Jason's grandmother passed away. He came home that Tuesday and she passed Thursday. I went with him for visitation and funeral and just tried to be there for him as best I could. It was a little on the awkward side because that's kind of a girlfriend move, ya know? And I'm not his girlfriend. But I wanted to be there if he wanted me to, so on we went. It was nice to spend time with that side of his family. I had never met most of them, but they were kind and warm to me even during their hard time. Oh yeah, and class started back. Ugh.

Week of September 5- Everyone finally came back. I want to say that I did something for Labor Day, but honestly, I just can't remember. I don't really remember much about this week in general. I had a 31 gifts party. Ordered some cool new stuff. My previously schedule Knoxville trip was moved to this weekend. I just went to hang out and luckily missed the horrific game and monsoon. Did some tailgating and bar hopping. Napped a lot. It was a good time.

Week of September 12- This week was an up and down one. I gained some housemates, so that's cool. Went to dinner with some great friends and had a fabulous time. Witnessed the most AMAZING FOOTBALL GAME OF MY LIFE!! For those of you that don't know, we beat White House, my nemesis of my LIFE! It was such a great feeling to even be there. So proud of Treavor and his team for fighting the good fight and leading us to a victory that not many Greenbrier teams have seen. Whitley and the dance team danced an awesome dance during pregame. I'm totally impressed with her skills! WHO KNEW?! Whitley's got some moves! Then after the game, Aunt Deana, Christy, Allie, and I ventured east yet again to Gatlinburg where the Mother/Daughter group from our family had already gotten the party started. Mother/Daughter is an annual trip my family's female take. There are just a few criterion for Mother/Daughter attendance: You must be 18. No Men, No Kids, and No Husbands. Other than that, anything goes! We had a great time in a beautiful cabin in the mountains and at Dixie Stampede! It's nice to get to catch up with everyone, especially my cousin Jana who is closest in age to me. Good times.

Week of September 20- Wait, that's now! I'm in full-force wedding mode these days. I've spent most of my time getting ready for Nicole's shower on Sunday. I'm so excited that it's getting closer! The wedding is less than a month away now, and my weekends are devoted to wedding events. This and next weekend is various showers, then BACHELORETTE PARTY!, then luncheon and finally WEDDING TIME! Can not believe it's already time. Wow. Can't believe it.

Well, I guess that's pretty much caught up. So glad to be back to my own style!

Day 23. The Last Person You Kissed

Today is one of the days on the list that I've been dreading. I want to be lame and write about Dalton, since he just gave me some sugar before he went to bed, but I have a feeling that I'll get yelled about by a certain other blogger...so I'll be legit and do it right. UGH...

It's really kind of hard and awkward to write about this guy. I'm not gonna say his name, to protect the not-so innocent, but some of you may just know who I'm referring to. This guy came along at a good time. Jason and I had just broken up for the last time. I was just starting school again. I was kind of at a start over place in my life, and something or someone to take my mind off of all the scary and all the not so great was exactly what I needed. He was someone I knew, but didn't really, you know? We randomly started chatting, then hanging out and talking on a pretty regular basis. He became someone that I looked forward to seeing and really enjoyed talking to and sharing my life with. And me being the idiot that's always trying to make anybody "the one" got pretty invested in the situation.

He made me laugh and smile and feel great about myself. He was fun and hot and very compatible with what I wanted in a guy. We have a lot of the same views on issues that are important to me. He loves his family, but loves his independence too. He could have swooped in and saved the day...but it just didn't work out that way.

The guy was not honest about everything with me. Did he forewarn me that he was a shit head? Yes, yes he did. But then he did things to make me believe he really cared about me. He didn't turn out to be what I wanted him to, to say the least. He tried to blow it off and act like I wasn't a big deal to him and that the whole thing was nothing, but I know what happened. I remember how I felt and how he acted, and you will never convince me that he didn't feel the same to a certain extent. I truly believe that he is just scared. Scared to get serious with a girl again, scared to grow up and be committed, scared to let his guard down. So many times I've wanted to scream at him "I know you care!" but even I'm not THAT crazy. He is the first person I have given a real chance to in a really really long time, and he pretty much screwed me over. I'm not gonna lie, it hurts.

He gave me my love of firemen. He made me like to cuddle maybe a little bit :) He gave me confidence. And he helped me get through a rut when I needed to badly. But as of now, I don't know if the good he did for me outweighed the bad. To Be Announced...

Day 20. The One That Broke Your Heart the Hardest

This post is beyond redundant. I feel like I have written about this time and time again. I've never really gotten into details about what went down between Jason and I, and I'm not going to now. All that needs to be known is that I was devastated, many, many times. But I lived, and we got over it. End of Story.

Day 19. Someone That Pesters Your Mind

Man. Could I write about this for days! I'm really irritated these days on LOTS of things and by lots of people. But more than any single person, a group of people, or really a mindset of a group of people irritate me more than anyone.

I was raised to be a tolerant and accepting person. I believe that everyone has the right to live in what ever way they choose to do. I'm all for what you do in the privacy of your own home is YOUR BUSINESS!! Therefore, I really hate it when people feel like they are the boss of others. If you want to be a Muslim, or if you're gay, or if you want to wear a meat dress a la Lady Gaga, then do it to it! It's not my business, choice, or concern. Please for the love of God, do what it is that makes YOU happy.

I hate reading or hearing of people that want to impress their own opinions and beliefs on others. The BEST thing about our country is that we ALL have the right to live in the way we see fit. As long as it's not hurting another individual, JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT! And mind your own business. Seriously. It's not mine or anyone else's business!

Day 18. Someone You Wish You Could Be

Ok. So I'm just gonna list a bunch of traits that I wish I was, cause there really isn't any one person I want to be...

I want to be:

able to say NO
spontaneous
perfect
crazy fun
young forever
omniscient
compassionate
selfish
selfless
subtle
ballsy
certain
confident all the time
loved.

I know there are more. But that's all I got right now.

Day 17. Someone From Your Childhood

Yay for this day! I've been excited for this one the WHOLE TIME!

So this might be a shocker to some of my readers, but my best friend as a child was this boy Jacob. Jacob's sister, Janna, was friends with my sister. We went to church together. We went to school together, so naturally, Jacob and I were friends. He and I would spend the night at one house, while Janna and Tiffany would go to the other. And OMG we had so much fun--stop being dirty, we were children. Jacob and I would just play and play and play. Like seriously, Power Rangers, riding bikes, playing in the woods or my his all time fav-MY SIZE BARBIE!! ALL THE TIME! I loved him to death and still do.

Funny thing is, we grew up! And it was no longer appropriate for us to sleep in the same room. So 15 years ago in October (I only remember because it was when Whitley was born) was our last little sleepover fun. Jacob and I stayed friends though since we were in school together still. I cheered him on in football and basketball. We had class and shared memories and we there for each other when we needed to be. Jacob served as an excellent role model to my cousin, Treavor and now even coaches him in football at GHS. I'm so happy to have him around and so proud of all the great things he has accomplished!

Day 16. Someone That’s Not in Your State/Country

First off, I'll start by saying Hello Again! Sorry I've been sketchy on the posting, but I've been out of town and quite frankly, just lazy. Also, the past couple of days have been pretty redundant in my opinion, so if you'd like to know who those people were, read older posts and I bet you'll figure it out.

Now on to the task at hand. Someone not in my state or country. Since I don't know anyone in another country, I'm gonna go with the state business. I have a huge family that is stretched over several states, but a big portion lives in Northern Kentucky. So that means there are lots of great people in my life to write about. And that also means it's SO HARD to choose just one! But nonetheless, I can't write about everybody, so the honor goes to my cousin Danielle!

Danielle is just a few years older than me, so growing up, she had that older and much cooler vibe totally working for her. I remember-or have at least convinced myself-that she always had awesome hair. From what I recall, it was always some color that my mom would never let me have, so naturally, that put her at complete bad ass status. Crazy the things you remember as a kid.

Anyway, fast forward to now. Danielle is married to a wonderful man, Nick. They have four great kids that are all as cute as buttons and that everyone here in Tennessee love, love, LOVES! Danielle is my FB friend too. She always says something nice or encouraging and I don't think she knows how much those little things really mean. She has a voice that she wants to be heard on many of the same issues that are important to me. She is raising her kids to be tolerant, accepting, and level headed, and I find that refreshing and inspiring. All that AND she's as cute as a button.

I'm really excited to see her this weekend at our annual Mother/Daughter trip and hope to visit them very soon! Love you Danielle and all of my family out of state.

Day 13. Someone You Wish Could Forgive You

As I have said before, I don't really like leaving situations unresolved, so there isn't anyone that I can really think of that needs to forgive me for something. However, I'm my biggest critic, so I think maybe I'll write about myself.

You see, I have made a lot of not so great choices in my life. And because of those choices, I'm not really in the place in my life that I expect/intended to be at 23. I stupidly compare myself to others that are my same age but have real jobs, and degrees, and husbands. I really get down on myself because I don't have those things that are normal for someone my age. I know though that its my own fault and my own choices to blame. But still, it frustrates me.

I'm also very critical of any and everything I do. I love to cook, and know I do it well. But every recipe I try or meal I make, I find something wrong with. Same thing with my appearance. I can be looking fly, but I still notice little things-that no one else cares about- that's wrong with me. The strange thing is, I don't have a low confidence. I mean really, I love myself. But I just expect perfection, and let's be real, nothing about me is even close to perfect.

My critical nature is something I'd really like to work on. I think I need to become a go with the flow kinda girl, but for now, I'm just the same anal-retentive, perfection expecting, single college girl at age 23.

Day 12. The Person You Hate Most/Caused You A Lot of Pain

When I started this project, there were several days that I read through and dreaded. Today's post is definitely one of those days.

I don't believe that anyone should truly hate any other person. I'm one of those that thinks if you have hatred in your heart, you can never truly love. I also like resolve from situations and problems, so naturally, hate doesn't really work well with that. There is one particular person though that easily comes to ming when hatred is brought up. I am leery to discuss her, not because I don't want everyone to know (I mean seriously, I write all the time about my life-I'm not a private person), but because I'm afraid of what little reader might see it.

With that said, I will tell you that there is indeed a person that I resent and that I would be perfectly happy with never seeing, knowing, or hearing about ever, ever again. She took advantage of my family at a critical time and hurt (and continues to hurt) the people I love. If you're dying to know who/what I'm referring to, please feel free to message me and I'll be happy to share. Otherwise, in the great words of Forrest Gump, That's all I have to say about that.

Day 11.A Deceased Person You Wish You Could Talk To

I think I pretty much already covered my topic for today in another post, so I'll spare you all that reading again. But just for kicks, I'll write another little diddy about my Aunt Linda!

(Aunt Linda is standing, also pictured is my Uncle Perry-sweet hair and beard!, Dad, Dad's sister Polly, and my great-great grandmother Polly)

My Aunt Linda passed away when I was in eighth grade. She was an outstanding lady that I am so happy to know, even if for just a little while. I would really love to talk to Aunt Linda now to hear ALL those stories I know she has to have. Aunt Linda was a débutante and was Miss Belmont back in her younger days. She taught school in California where she met my beloved Carolyne (who I'd also love to chat it up with!). I can just imagine all the things she's seen and experiences she's been through. I think as an adult, I would appreciate her even more than I did as a child.

Also, just a reminder of what I'm doing...here's the list again!

Day 10. Someone You Don’t Talk to as Much as You’d Like

I have two people to write about today! So bear with me...

Rachel and I became friends in fourth grade when we had to endure the most wretched teacher ever. We were in the same class on and off until graduation. She and I did a lot of the same activities so we naturally spent a lot of time together. We are pretty close to polar opposites, so we used to fight...a LOT. But nonetheless, we were best friends all the while.

Rachel went to school in Knoxville and I went to Clarksville. We both made new friends and new lives, but tried to stay in touch as much as we could. Rachel and I may not talk every single day or week even, and it may be months between the times that we get to spend time together. But I love Rachel because no matter how long it's been, it's like no time has passed between our chats or visits. Rachel got married in May, and I was honored to be a bridesmaid and stand beside her as she married the man of her dreams. She just started her first big girl job at Bearden High School in Knoxville as an English teacher, and I couldn't be more proud of her! I hate that I don't see her often and that we don't talk nearly enough, but I'm certainly happy to have had her in my life for almost 15 years!

I met Katie around this time last year at a Boomsday Party in Knoxville. I immediately loved her to death and thought she was beyond amazing. Fast forward to late winter time, I was looking for a Spring Break buddy and so was she! It was a match made in heaven. We set sail on the boat in March and spent a wondrous week together! Katie and I found that we had a lot in common and had a great time together. We bonded of Chelsea Handler, boys, and our love of...well, let's just leave it at that:) Since then, we've kept in touch as best we can. She also recently just started her first big girl job for Shelby County schools teaching middle school Spanish. She school has started for the both of us, we haven't had as much time to chat, and I miss her dearly. I can't wait for everything to settle down so we can be besties again!

Day 9. Someone You Wish You Could Meet

This one is kind of a hard one. But I've come up with a little something.

I love politics. I love the whole election process...the campaigning, the voting, the anticipation-ALL OF IT! I have a great respect for most any politician, simply because I know that they are under an insane amount of pressure and our country is literally weighing down on their shoulders. Which leads me to.....



Any president, past or present. I think it would be such an honor to meet the President. Like seriously, he's running this show! What an outstanding person he (or hopefully she someday) must be! Now, I'm a self-proclaimed crazy liberal. And why I don't agree with everything that some of our past presidents have done, it would still be so awesome to meet them! I mean really, how many of you have met a president??! Yeah, didn't think so. So please Mr. President(s), PICK ME!

Day 8. Your Favorite Internet Friend

I've been looking forward to this day, because my fav internet buddy is one of the main reasons I started writing this blog! Shelby has a blog of her own about her two sweet baby boys that I've come to read every single day. I've enjoyed watching her boys grow up through her picture a day plan and am so proud of her to be able to commit to such a big undertaking. Shelby and I are FBBFF (Facebook BFFs) and have come to get to know each other. Its really funny cause we are a lot alike! I've known her little bro, Mike, for ages, but am super glad to know Shelby now too! Also, we have become real life friends too! Thanks for the advice, the friendship, and those sweet babies Shelb!

Day 7. Your Ex-boyfriend

I'll begin with a disclaimer from yesterday. Not only was I too busy to post, but I also find it a little too creepster for me to write about a stranger.

Moving on.

Today. Oh, do I have plenty to write about today. It's kinda funny that this one happens on this very day, as I spent all of it with said person. Jason's grandma passed away this week, so I've been with him doing funeral stuff today.

Anywho, on to the main event. Jason and I started out as friends many, many years ago. He and I spent a lot of time together during high school since we were involved in a lot of the same activities. He also worked with my grandma and his family were friends of my family, so naturally, we were very close. Brilliant as we are, just a few weeks before he moved to Knoxville, you know, THREE HOURS AWAY, we decided then was the best time for us to try for more than just friends. Great idea, right?

Meanwhile, here we are four years later, friends again. There were lots of terrible, terrible times. Lots of hateful words and hurtful actions taken on both of our parts. But there were lots of great times too. My very favorite memory of our "together" time was pretty close to the beginning. My family has an adult Halloween party every year, and much to my sadness, Jason just couldn't make it in to come with me. He had exams or a test or something. But that Friday afternoon, as I was cleaning up my room and doing laundry, Jason walked up my stairs. I think I cried. I was so happy to see him and excited and surprised. I was lots of things. I like to remind him of these times, aka the times when he really loved me :)

As I said, we certainly have had more than our fair share of issues. I'm not going to say that I was never at fault, cause that wouldn't be true. But he was never perfect either. We went back and forth, on and off for about three and a half years. We broke up for the last time at the first of the year and I was beyond devastated. Jason was always the person that I thought I'd spend my life with. I really thought I would marry him and we would live happily ever after. So naturally, when I saw that crumbling around me, it wasn't good. We didn't speak-civilly at least-for several, several months. I was hurt, he needed time to get himself together. We just needed time apart.

During this time was really the first time in our whole debacle that I moved on. I had somewhat dated other people in break ups past, but never truly moved on. This time was different though, and I found myself wanting him less and less. I didn't want to risk getting hurt again, I didn't want to be in that situation anymore, and I didn't want to waste anymore time. So I was bound and determined to not ever be back with him again. Ever.

Well, that's where I believe fate stepped in. I literally ran into him at a bar in Knoxville in early April. I was still bitter, he was, well I don't know what he was. At any rate, we sat and talked. I cried-in the middle of a bar, embarrassing. We came to some kind of peace between us then and there. Since then, we have reverted back to the friendship we had years ago. Do we still have problems? Yes. Way too many. But we see our friendship as what it is-ugly, complicated, strong, and forever.
I've written about him before and said that a lot of people don't understand our relationship. And I get that it's very unorthodox, but it works for us, and as long as it does, that's all I care about. I could go on for days about all the fights we've had and all the break ups we've been through, but what's the point? The past has passed, and that time in our life is over. I'm just glad to have my friend again.

Day 5. Your Dreams

Professionally speaking, I have a passion for education. When I was young, I always wanted to teach. I went to college round 1 to teach high school Spanish. But as we all know, that just didn't work out. I thought my life was headed down another path. I didn't think I was cut out to be a teacher, especially since I hate school so much. I took another road that I liked for a while, but what I found out is that maybe the problem wasn't the teaching thing. Maybe it was that I needed to grow up. That's exactly what I did at the bank. And when I was better developed and ready, back to teaching I went.
I started classes full time again in January, this time to teach Math. I still hate class, but I've found that I hate my education classes a lot less than any other ones. Good sign right? I have lots of plans for when I teach. I want to be the Math teacher that makes young people see that Math isn't so bad. I want to show students that it can be fun and you can like Math and not be a weirdo. I also want to be the teacher that develops a bond with my students and makes a positive impact on them. One of my best compliments has been that I'm like one of my teachers that has now become my friend. Hopefully someday, one of my former students can feel that way about me.

As far as other dreams go, I've never really been one to dream about a husband or a house full of kids, I've always wanted success. I want to make a living doing something that I enjoy. That's where baking comes in. I love to bake. Its something I can do to express my creative side and be productive at the same time. Having my own cupcake business has been something I've toyed with for a little over a year now. I've thought about flavor combinations. Found recipes. Taste tested probably one too many cake. After some encouragement (coincidentally, from my teacher/friend I referred to before), I decide to just take the plunge. I've had a few orders since then and hope to grow my business even more. Eventually, I'd love to open a shop with cupcakes, candy, homemade ice cream, and other sweets. I want to create a place for young people to hang out and a place that kids want to come. But at the same time, I want to have a quality product that adults love too. That dream is one I am not sure of, but I really hope I can make it happen someday.

Shameless plug time! Check out my cupcake website and help me achieve my dream!

Day 4. Your Sibling(s)

Oh sister. My older sister Tiffany and I haven't always liked each other very much. I'm just gonna skip that part though and go straight to us being bff, like we are now. About three or four years ago, something just clicked. I like to think that she finally decided that she wasn't my mom, but at any rate it worked. I've really come to get to know Tiffany in a different way and I'm so happy because of it. I guess since she got married, we have grown closer. Especially since she started trying to have a baby. I remember worrying for her and hoping for her, and then finally (with a little birthday magic!) she was pregnant and I was delighted. For the first time really, I was protective of my sister. I wanted to make sure she was feeling well, that she had the things she needed, etc. The pinnacle of my protectiveness came at a Predators game, when I realized that if a puck came over the nets, I would have to shield her with my body. And I would have. Since Dalton has been around, I feel like we just keep getting closer and closer. We take a Zumba class together on Monday, and it's something I look forward to all week long. I'm so glad that I not only love my sister now, but I like her too.

Abby Fisher came along when I was in eighth grade. It was a big enough age difference that I was more than delighted for her arrival. Her unfortunate mother left us all high and dry, and I got to spend a lot of time with Abby because of it. Abby was the first person that I can really recall loving unconditionally. At the ripe ole age of 14, I could take or leave my parents, but Abby was another story. I can remember episodes with her mom when we were unsure of Abby's safety or whereabouts and I was absolutely terrified. I would have given anything to insure that she was ok. She got to live a life most little girls aren't privied to. She had lots of friends (my friends) that came around to hang out and loved her to pieces. She went to prom, complete with a bouquet of her own, on her 4th birthday. She got to go and do things with her older sisters and be a big kid for most of her little life. Now, Abby is in the fourth grade, in my best friend's class. She's a pro at being a flower girl. And an excellent aunt to Dalton. I love her to death and am so happy to have her in my life!



Here's a link to the list, if anyone needs a reminder. :)